Sometimes Things Aren’t So Clear.

Building power

Working on versus working with

I’ve found over the years there is a difference in relationship when I am practicing harm reduction with others versus when I must practice harm reduction on others. It is not that the two types are mutually exclusive nor it is about establishing a binary. It is simply distinguishing how different types of energy feel both in my body and as I express them.

The energy of harm reduction practiced on is patient and healing.

The energy of harm reduction practiced with is vibrant and energizing.

The types can blend gracefully and effortlessly. When this happens, relationships build community, movement and power. There is clarity and vision. Passion can be found and ignited. I was introduced to harm reduction in San Francisco when I worked at the Stonewall Project, a program I am proud to be associated with because I know the quality of what we did. It was easily the best team I’ve ever been on. Our practice of harm reduction together bonded us and I continue to have admiration and respect for all of them. It’s not that we didn’t have problems because we certainly did. It’s that the energies blended, separated and intertwined fluidly. It’s that we faced challenges and supported each other. We knew we could count on each other. We were friends before we were colleagues.

Harm reduction work is exhausting at times because it is the nature of the beast. This happens when pain and oppression are witnessed or experienced. This happens when people die. This happens when the deaths don’t stop. When people are devastated and have nothing to give, when folks are so debilitated by circumstances or history they cannot easily maneuver the world, when the point of utter depletion is passed, what I turn to is harm reduction. But it is not to practice with them, at least not at that moment; it is to practice harm reduction on them. This is also true when faced with arrogance and attack, when it is clear joining power with another is not possible and may be detrimental. But the nature of harm reduction also teaches me if connection is not possible, the preservation of possibility of connection is vital. In fact, retaining that possibility is foundational to my practice.

Sometimes “with” energy and “on” energy are not able to blend and shift gracefully. If I find I have to practice from a place of patience and healing always or mostly, it is a clear indicator to me that collaboration to build power is not tenable for me. I assume if someone has to practice harm reduction on me consistently that I am not a good candidate to collaborate with them as well. For me, it is vital to be aware of the differences and nuances of these types of energies. The people whom I can build power with, whom I practice harm reduction with help me feel better and vibrant. They lift my spirits. They nourish me. I trust them.

Also there are people I respect and admire who I know I cannot collaborate with for fear of having a working relationship turn too lopsided and require me to extend patience too much and too often. This dynamic is depleting to me. I describe this type of practice as working next to another as opposed to working with them. This is the best way I know of how to build power with people I respect but with whom I cannot work. Personally, I do not have the skills to do otherwise.

Forcing an untenable collaboration slows movement and growth. Separating from imbalanced relationships to work next to someone can be liberating for everyone. Presuming someone is ready to build power based on identity rather than readiness is flawed and may be damaging. Harm reduction practice teaches me to be aware of the energy around me, in particular how things change in relation to one another. It is not easy, nor is it simple. Harm reduction practice is not solely an intervention, it is not only a method of relationship. It is about deepening self-awareness to perceive change, in some ways it is a type of mindfulness. It takes skill to build power that includes kindness and compassion. Harm reduction practice is a skill. It is a practice steeped in humility because this is how to approach those practiced on from a conscious place. It is learning limits of influence. It is a way of being in the world. For many, it is a way of life.

The expert in their own life may share something with you. Will you see it?